


we could just kiss like real people do

by timetoboldlygo



Series: bodhicassian week [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 08:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timetoboldlygo/pseuds/timetoboldlygo
Summary: Being with Bodhi on leave made Cassian feel lighter. Though that was more Bodhi's presence than actually being on leave. Being away from base made Cassian think clearly. Made him realize what was important.





	we could just kiss like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> written a little hastily for the second day of bodhi week and again i don't really care for it, but whatever! today's prompt was first times. so this is like..... a first vacation, a first i love you, and in some ways, like a first real relationship (for cassian) it kind of got away from me, admittedly

Cassian would be the first to admit that he hadn’t wanted to take leave. He detested it more than anything, and usually spent the two weeks he’d accumulated (and been forced to take) still on base just in case anything happened.

Bodhi hadn’t _wanted_ to stay on base, and Cassian had tried to argue, but truthfully, Cassian had a difficult time refusing him anything. Especially when Cassian had told Bodhi no, and then Bodhi had sighed, like he’d expected it, and said it was fine.

So they were off-base for once. Cassian hadn’t really left base much in the past three months, first because he’d been on medical leave and then because there was so much to do _on_ base. It had only been a few months since Scarif. Cassian still felt his knee and hip twinge sometimes.

Bodhi’s injuries had been much more severe than Cassian’s, so the only time he’d been off base had been to pilot cargo shuttles when they moved their main base from Yavin. So he’d gone from one base right to the other.

So Bodhi needed this. Maybe Cassian did too. Now that he was on-planet, he could already feel the stress fading away.

This was mostly due to how beautiful Bodhi looked, leading him through the small market, bathed in the golden sunset light and smiling so softly when he looked at Cassian. His hair was a mess, because he’d taken a nap on the transport, snoring softly with his head on Cassian’s shoulder.

“This planet is beautiful,” Cassian told him. Bodhi had been the one to make all the travel plans, probably because Cassian had been dragging his feet. He was pretty sure they were headed to the inn now, but they were taking their time about it, which was fine by Cassian.

Bodhi smiled. “I always wanted to come back here,” he said. He didn’t elaborate. He usually just left sentences about his past hanging, like he wasn’t sure that Cassian would want to hear them.

“Tell me,” Cassian said, the way he always did. He wanted to know every piece of Bodhi. Wanted to make sure Bodhi knew that _nothing_ he said was unimportant.

“I had to stop here to make repairs,” Bodhi said, slowing his walk so that he was perfectly in stride with Cassian. “Totally unexpected, I was probably going to be in trouble for deviating from my route.” His shoulders were loose and slack as he said this, not stressed about the past at all. “A little girl in the marketplace, maybe about eight, gave me a flower from her family’s stall because she thought I looked sad.”

That was completely charming. “And that’s why you wanted to come here?”

“Yeah,” Bodhi said. “I mean, it’s beautiful of course, but I hope that the people here are beautiful as well.”

“That’s poetic,” Cassian said, and Bodhi turned his head just in time to meet Cassian’s kiss.

\--------

Truthfully, Cassian had expected it to be much harder to leave his work and take vacation. Bodhi made it easy. The next morning, after they both woke up luxuriously late, they wandered about the city, not having much of a plan. Bodhi had looked up some places to see, but they had a week, and Cassian was just as content wandering through the city following in Bodhi’s wake as he lead them confidently down the cobblestones.

“Look at _that_ ,” Bodhi would say, pointing at a shop that sold carved wooden art or a place that was selling food that Cassian didn’t even know the name of or, at this moment in time, an old-fashioned bookstore that actually sold books made from _flimsis_. Cassian didn’t know what it was about flimsi books that Bodhi was so excited about, but he loved how thrilled Bodhi was about it.

Cassian could just soak in his enthusiasm and frankly, fall more in love with him. Not that he’d said it yet, of course. He and Bodhi had barely been dating two months.

“This is amazing,” Bodhi said, flipping through a book. It appeared to be detailed description of U-wing engines that hadn’t been in service for fifteen years. “These pictures are great.”

“I don’t understand engines at all,” Cassian said, which made Bodhi grin. He curled a hand around Bodhi’s waist and stepped closer, all under the pretense of getting a better look at the book. From the look Bodhi gave him, it hadn’t been subtle.

Cassian didn’t care. He liked the freedom this planet offered to do what he liked, the ability to step close and engage in affection that, while allowed on base, wasn’t something Cassian was always comfortable with.

“What are you doing,” Bodhi asked, voice full of amusement.

“Nothing,” Cassian said innocently, taking the book from Bodhi’s hands and turning it over. Seventeen credits. He resolved to come back later when Bodhi was distracted and buy it as a gift. He was very close to Bodhi now, close enough to press in for a kiss, so he did. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

Because Bodhi was studying him now, like Cassian was a question and Bodhi needed the answer. “No reason,” Bodhi said, although there was clearly a reason. “Just thinking about how good this vacation is going to be for you.”

“Why?”

“You aren’t usually so affectionate in public,” Bodhi said, though the way he was pressing closer to Cassian meant he clearly didn’t mind. “You seem brighter.”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem brighter,” Bodhi said again, like it made any sense. He studied Cassian’s face. “You seem… less stressed. Younger. _Brighter_.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I just think this vacation is good for you.”

Cassian shook his head. “It’s not the vacation,” he said, because it wasn’t. “That’s you.” Bodhi, like no one else, had a way of making getting Cassian to see everything good in the world, of making the work Cassian had to do feel less heavy. Bodhi was good at getting Cassian out of his head, at making him stop and live in the moment.

Bodhi made a surprised face at him, the face he always made when Cassian said something particularly romantic and surprised him. “It is not,” he said.

“Oh, you don’t think I would know best?” Cassian said, shaking his head in mock-anger. “Would you like me to provide evidence?”

“No!” Bodhi said, laughing. “No, I believe you.”

“Good,” Cassian said, because it was important Bodhi know that.

They wandered out of the bookstore some ten minutes later, and Cassian made sure that he kept Bodhi’s hand in his. It was getting dark and Cassian had no idea where he was – a strange feeling, since Cassian _always_ knew where he was. But he trusted Bodhi, who lead them through the streets, over a bridge, and around hundreds of corners before making it safely back to their inn.

\-----------

In the morning, sounds from the street filtered in through the window, muffled but still noticeably louder than they had been yesterday. Bodhi made a groaning nose and shuffled closer to Cassian, if that was even possible – their arms and legs were so intertwined that Cassian care barely tell which limb belong to who. “Loud,” Bodhi said clearly, pulling his pillow over his head even as Cassian got up and shut the window.

It was still dark in the room and Cassian closed his eyes again, but he couldn’t get to sleep – it was too loud and he’d never been good at lying in bed. “Bodhi,” he whispered. “I’m going for a walk.”

Bodhi groaned. “It’s _early_.”

“I’ll be back in an hour,” Cassian said, slowing moving Bodhi off him. Bodhi only pulled the covers up and curled up, feigning sleep a little more aggressively. Cassian leaned down and kissed him on the forehead before getting dressed.

The sun had barely risen, but there were a lot of people out on the streets, setting up booths and stands. Farther down the street, in one of the big main squares, it looked blocked off. A band was setting up. “What’s going on?” Cassian asked one of the already set-up booths, a woman selling… only baskets.

“It’s for the festival,” she said, beaming at him. “Did you get your picnic basket?”

Cassian blinked at her. Maybe this conversation would make more sense if he hadn’t just gotten up, but as it was, he didn’t get it. “Why would I need a picnic basket?”

She beamed at him. “For the festival!” She repeated. “It’s to commemorate the yearly star shower. Food, dancing, other things like that. Then, once if gets dark, everyone takes the food they bought at the festival to the Golden Hill and watches the stars. That’s why it’s so busy here this week, everyone comes in. We should be fully set up in another hour.”

Cassian wondered if Bodhi knew about it. He probably did. Bodhi made it his business to know everything, because he hated to be caught off-guard. “Sure,” he said, looking back at the woman. “I’d love a basket.”

She grinned at him, passing him over a little blue woven basket as he passed over credits. “My wife and I get to the hill just before sunset,” she said conspiratorially, giving him a grin. She also gave him a lollipop from a bowl on her stand, which was interesting but not unwelcome. “Before it gets too crowded.”

“Thank you,” Cassian said, picking up the small picnic basket she’d given him.

\--------

He was late getting back to the inn – it had taken him longer than he’d expected to find the bookstore again. The owner had remembered him. Had even put the book on hold for him, saying with a knowing little smile that he’d had a feeling Cassian would be back. He’d asked how long he and Bodhi had been together, and seemed surprised when Cassian said it was only a few months. He seemed to think it was romantic when Cassian admitted that it felt like it had been a lot longer.

Bodhi was awake and dressed when Cassian got back to the inn, little wrapped book tucked into the waistband of his pants. “Finally,” Bodhi said dramatically, throwing himself on the bed. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

Cassian squinted at him. His hair was sticking up everywhere, still too short to be put into a ponytail. “You got up ten minutes ago,” he accused.

Bodhi grinned up at him. “That’s forever,” he said, then, “What’s that?”

Cassian held up the little blue basket. “There’s a festival today,” he said.

Bodhi sat up immediately. “For _what_?” He asked, holding out both hands. Cassian deposited the little basket in them for him to examine.

Cassian gestured towards the ceiling and through it, the sky. “There’s some sort of star show?” he said, right as a burst of music started playing, startling both him and Bodhi. Bodhi was the first to recover, hopping off the bed and heading towards the window.

Cassian followed slowly, wrapping his hands around Bodhi’s waist and setting his chin on Bodhi’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, slowly, even though Bodhi was pointing out things on the street. He felt like he could stay like this forever.

“There’s so many couples,” Bodhi said, elbowing Cassian lightly. “Is this a _loooooove_ festival?”

“I think so,” Cassian admitted, pressing a kiss to Bodhi’s cheek. Then another. Then just one more, for good measure. Just because he could.

\--------

Almost immediately when the left the inn, Bodhi coaxed Cassian into dancing. “Come on,” he said, slowly pulling Cassian towards the throng of people near the band.

“I can’t dance,” Cassian said, trying to dig his heels in. He didn’t even know if he could dance, really, he’d never actually tried.

“You gonna let that stop you from holding me close and grabbing my ass?” Bodhi asked, completely seriously, and well. No. Cassian wasn’t.

It was easy to do when you were surrounded by other couples doing the same thing. No one here knew Cassian. No one here was paying attention. On the base, he felt like he was _always_ doing something out of place if he held Bodhi’s hand or gave him a kiss sin the hallway.

Here he could give Bodhi a thousand kisses and no one would care. Even after they stopped dancing and Bodhi stopped teasing Cassian about how bad a dancer he was, and after they’d gotten lunch and eaten it on picnic benches surrounded by a hundred other couples, Cassian wished – _achingly_ – that he could keep this feeling when he was back on base.

He wondered if Bodhi felt it too. That they were different here – no, not different but _more_. More themselves, more comfortable. Free from all the stupid rules and restrictions on that base that Cassian was now realizing that he imposed on himself.

Bodhi seemed more relaxed. Quicker to take Cassian’s hand, to press soft kisses to his lips. Maybe it was something innate, maybe he was picking up on Cassian’s cues, either way, Cassian liked it.

Just before sunset, they made their way to the hill, where several couples were already spread out with blankets. The woman from the booth this morning waved at them, sprawled out on a pink blanket with her wife.

“I like this spot,” Bodhi said, spreading out their blanket, which they’d stolen from one of the closets in the inn. He dropped to the ground. Cassian settled more slowly, carefully placing the little blue basket down. They’d bought tons of food, more than they’d ever be able to eat, but _why not_?

Bodhi was telling bad jokes and eating his pink fruit and he was beautiful, he was always beautiful, silhouetted against the red and blue sunset. Beautiful. “Cassian are you listening?

Cassian startled. “Um,” he said. He hadn’t been.

Bodhi laughed. “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Cassian admitted. He wanted to be able to say things like this more. He wasn’t good at communication. He’d never told anyone he loved them. Bodhi deserved to hear those words.

“I’m flattered,” Bodhi said, passing part of his fruit to Cassian. The sun was slipping behind the hills. The entire hill was covered in people with blankets. Someone was playing a little bit of music, wafting over just barely. “When do you think this thing starts?”

“Soon?” Cassian guessed. He rolled over and looked up at the sky, which was turning dark. He could see a few stars. “There are some stars out.”

Bodhi lay down next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. “This is really nice,” he said absently. “We should picnic more often.”

Cassian snorted. “I think the next planet we’re going to is very cold,” he said. “How do you feeling about indoor picnics.”

Not as romantic,” Bodhi said, turning his head to look at Cassian. They were only an inch away from each other. “I’m really glad you came with me.” He sighed, turning his head back up to look at the two moons in the sky, a little pink. It was dark enough now that Cassian couldn’t see him clearly. “I wouldn’t have come without you.”

 Cassian rolled over onto his side, looking at Bodhi bathed in moonlight. “You wouldn’t have?”

Bodhi shook his head. “I didn’t want to be alone,” he said, very quietly. “It’s – lonely. I used to hate cargo runs that I had to do alone.”

“Really?” Cassian asked. He hadn’t known that.

“I didn’t use to,” Bodhi said. “When I was in the Academy, I _loved_ it. I felt so free. But after I was a cargo pilot – my ship didn’t belong to me and my cargo was probably killing people and _nothing_ about it felt free.” He was quiet for a long time. “I kind of miss it. It was really comforting, you know, to be surrounded by silence and empty space and to know I could do whatever I wanted.” He fidgeted a little bit. “So thank you.”

Cassian felt like he shouldn’t be thanked for this. “For – coming with you?” He asked, just to be sure.

“Well, I know you didn’t want to come,” Bodhi said.

“Of course I wanted to come.”

“Oh, you did not,” Bodhi said, rolling his eyes. “You wanted to stay on base in case something went wrong, I know you. You don’t have to lie or anything, I accepted that a long time ago.”

Silence for a moment as Cassian digested this. “You accepted _what_?”

“You know, that you’d always be working,” Bodhi said. He didn’t seem sad as he said this at all, not even resigned. Just peaceful. “I know the cause is the most important thing.”

“Bodhi,” Cassian said, reaching over. “Bodhi, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is,” Bodhi said. “That’s okay.”

“Bodhi, you are just as important to me as the rebellion,” Cassian said and it was one of the truest things he’d ever said. “I’m _so sorry_ if I made you feel second best.” He hesitated. “I shouldn’t have taken you for granted.”

Bodhi looked surprised by that. “You didn’t,” he said, sitting up so that now he was looking down at Cassian. Cassian sat up too.

“I did,” he insisted. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d taken for granted how much leeway Bodhi gave him. It Bodhi wanted to hang out and Cassian was working, he accepted it with good cheer. If Cassian forgot to meet him for lunch because he was in the middle of something, Bodhi never said anything about it. Cassian had taken advantage of that. He shouldn’t have. Relationships wouldn’t last if only one person was doing all the work. “You are always so _good_ about letting me work,” he said. “But what about you?”

“I’m fine,” Bodhi tried to say, but gave up when Cassian glared at him. “Okay! Okay. It sucks. But it’s important!”

“So are you!” Cassian said, louder than he meant to. A couple of people nearby shushed them. “So are you,” he repeated, quieter now. “Bodhi, you always know just how to make me forget about work when I need it. I appreciate that more than you now. I’m going to be better.”

Better at it all. Better at making time for Bodhi the way he deserved, better at holding his hand in public, which he knew Bodhi liked. For Bodhi, he was going to push the boundaries that he should have been pushing all along.

“I really appreciate that,” Bodhi said softly, leaning forward. When he kissed Cassian, it felt new. Better. Cassian hoped that stayed. He would _work_ to make sure it would. “I think the show is starting,” Bodhi said against his lips.

Cassian twisted to look up at the skies. Stars didn’t really move, not enough to see, so Cassian hadn't been able to figure out what the woman had been talking about. But sure enough, the stars were glimmering and twisting around. “Wow,” Cassian said, as he and Bodhi lay down. "How does this happen?"

“I think it’s part of the atmosphere,” Bodhi whispered, pointing. “See? It’s a little bit pink. I think it’s atmospheric interference.”

For a moment, they just lay there. Everyone was silent, watching the tricks the stars did. It was amazing. Cassian could see why this was such a big event. It was beautiful.

“Bodhi,” Cassian whispered. It felt right to say now. “I love you.”

Bodhi gave a little gasp even as his hand found Cassian’s. “I love you too,” he said, turning his head to look at Cassian. “I love you too.”


End file.
